No safe environment

            Over the past four years of working with High School ministry I have come into contact with a dangerous mindset concerning underage drinking.  I have heard people say, “Since kids are going to drink I would rather them drink where I can keep and eye on them so that I know they are safe.”  This thinking leads to permissive parents or guardians that think a “safe environment” will protect underage drinkers.  The fact is simple.  There is no “safe environment” for underage drinking.  A safe environment mentality only supports behaviors that cause harm to our children both in the home and in the school.

            The simple fact that underage drinking is ILLEGAL and LETHAL should be enough to stop any parent or guardian from knowingly allowing students to drink in their homes.  Such actions are punishable by law and go beyond common sense.  The provider of the environment or the alcohol can be held legally responsible for damages that are caused by the drinking.  But there are other reasons then these for avoiding alcohol.

            Other concerns directly involve the physical, emotional and spiritual health of our children.  The mentality that “kids are going to drink anyway” short changes the dignity of our young people.  Such a mentality supposes that our kids are basically disobedient, don’t have a strong enough character to keep themselves from drinking and are too foolish to realize the negative consequences of such behavior.  The fact is that young men and women live up to the expectations that are placed upon them.  If they are expected to fail then it will be easy for them to fail; but if they are expected to succeed then they will have the support necessary to succeed. 

Consider all the work that students-athletes put into practice and games.  Throughout the entire week they are expected to work hard, train hard, be on time and give one hundred percent.  What coach would not expect the most from his athletes?  It wouldn’t make sense for a coach to set low expectations.  That is, in fact, why BCCHS is so successful at sports.  Well if this is true of sports why is it not truer for life?  Why shouldn’t parents expect the most from their children?  They CAN make the right choice, they CAN avoid harmful behavior but they need our undivided support.

            Alcohol also has many serious side effects that make it illegal and necessary for young people to avoid.  First of all, alcohol numbs the frontal lobe of a person’s brain.  This part of the brain is the “decision-making” part of the brain, and when it is numbed it causes people to act differently.  This altered behavior causes people to do what they would normally never do.  People under the influence begin to say things that they would never say or act in ways they would never act.  This leads to gossip, back talking, verbal and physical fighting that ends up in jealousy, envy, hatred, anger, rejection and sadness.  All of these attitudes and hurt emotions carry over into the home and into the halls of Bishop Carroll and cause fighting and divisions in both places.

            Worse then this, when the frontal lobe is numbed the “pleasure-seeking” part of the brain is stimulated as well.  As a result, people under the influence are much more likely to engage in illicit sexual behavior that would again be avoided if alcohol was not involved.  This opens men and women up to being used as sexual objects or even sexually abused, as is often the case in today’s society.  Most youth who have lost their virginity have done so when under the influence of alcohol.  And due to this heightened “libido” immodesty and pornography is often associated with alcohol that leads to an endless series of lustful thoughts that must be fought for the weeks, months and even years that follow. 

            Furthermore, what does it say about a person has to numb their frontal lobe in order to “have a good time” or to “be free”?  It says that they are escaping from the pressures and anxieties of life that will only come crashing down upon them after the high is gone. And then what?  Do you get drunk again and open the doorway to alcoholism or do you wake up and start learning to deal with pressure and anxiety in a healthy manner. 

All of these activities can take place no matter what environment the students are in.  This means that there is no such thing as a ‘safe environment’ for drinking and the only ‘safe’ method is teaching the virtue that allows youth to avoid it.

Spiritually speaking, freely getting drunk is always a mortal sin and it requires going to confession before receiving communion.  Why?  Because it disrespects the person’s dignity and the dignity of those who are around that person.  Jesus himself warns against drunkenness when he said, “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness.”  (Luke 21:34)  And St. Paul clearly states in Ephesians 5:18, “Do not get drunk… for that is debauchery.”  Other passages that condemn drunkenness are 1Thess 5:6-7; 1 Cor 5:11; 6:9; Rom 13:13; Gal 5:19; and 1 Peter 4:3.

Worse then getting drunk, is providing either the occasion for drinking or the alcohol for students to get drunk with.  In fact, the primary way for students to get alcohol is through an adult provider.  And the most common adult providers are siblings or parents.  Providing such an occasion is called scandal in the bible and Jesus has some very harsh words concerning scandal.  “Scandal will inevitably occur but woe to him through whom it occurs.”  (Luke 17:1-2)  When adults provide alcohol for children they themselves are sharing in the act and are also guilty of a sin and need to go to confession.  Besides, what messages does this send our youth?  Laws can be broken.  Adults are above the law.  It’s O.K. if you don’t get caught.  But most seriously it supports the message that the bible doesn’t know what it’s talking about and morality really does matter.

The problem with the ‘safe environment’ mentality is that the parties they provide not only cause those involved to sin but it also causes scandal to the community at large.  Aren’t we tired of negative stereotypes about Catholics or Catholic school students?  How many times have I heard people say that Catholics are heavy drinkers?  Or that a Catholic can “Sin on Friday, go to confession on Saturday and go to Mass on Sunday.”  The sacraments are not some loop hole to allow us to sin.  Christ calls us to virtue and through virtue we can bring this scandal to a STOP.

But perhaps the greatest reason why a permissive attitude to alcohol or a “safe environment” mentality is wrong is because it directly undermines the authority of other parents over their children.  When a ‘safe environment’ (which by now I hope you can see there is no such thing) is provided is gives rise to any number of children to be disobedient to the wishes of their parents.  They have to lie to their parents about where they are going, they often times have to sneak out and frequently break curfew to avoid getting caught.  The main point of the article is this: NO PARENT HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE A UNILATERAL DECISION THAT USURPS ANOTHER PARENTS AUTHORITY OVER THEIR OWN CHILDREN AND PUTS THOSE CHILDREN IN A SITUATION THAT CAN CAUSE SERIOUS HARM OR EVEN DEATH.  It is a horrible breach of trust within the community to create a situation in which a child is encouraged to be disobedient or imprudent.

Our mission at Bishop Carroll is “to assist parents in forming disciples of Christ.”  This does not simply mean the student assisting parents but parents assisting parents as well.  Let us put faith in the scriptures, faith in our children and faith in one another so that we can all live as disciples of Christ.